Backup Groomsman - Latest Comments in Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Bond 007 — Fri, 23 Mar 2012 19:03:52 -0000

I have been in eight wedding parties in four years; three times I have bonked a bridesmaid, once the bride herself and one beautiful time the bride's mother. I am 5 for 8. I may sound like a charlatan but I am smooth as silk - the only impression I ever leave is "what a wonderful young man." I am a professional, except I have never been paid for this. You can change that. This is my destiny. I am your $10k man. When do I start?

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Nate Oxley — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 15:37:28 -0000

I am the perfect backup groomsman.
I will- pretty much do anything that is needed except nudity.
I will not- get so drunk that i can't be of use.
I am well read and traveled so I am able to entertain younger, as well as older guests.
for more information, please contact me, Nate Oxley, at 260-348-0727

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Playlien — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 14:42:51 -0000

Oh my. This has got to be teh single best thing my eyes have ever witnessed. Please tell me this is legit? Okay, I'm 26 turning 27, look good in a suit, been a groomsman twice, third time coming up this spring. I've actually walked two different women down the aisle.

Things I will do -
Hit on as many cute bride's maids as possible, and some of the ugly ones, too
Dance with the flower girl if its not too weird
Get loaded

I will not -
Hit on the bride

That is all. Thank you , and please fund my need to get sociably trashed around strangers

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Tim Walsworth — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:19:36 -0000

I love talking to people I've never met before, tuxedos, and possess ability to attract conversation simply because of places I've lived [born.raised in Alaska, working in Hawaii, was in Africa in the spring] and I work with youth now, so I can be a wingman and hold conversation with younger members of bridal party... or far older, if needed.

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

@nathanTbaker — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 17:04:25 -0000

Josh,

Thanks for the post! You got the thread rolling =)

Nate

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

David Cintron — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 16:23:49 -0000

I think I'm qualified to be a backup groomsman mostly because I bring the PARTY. Ask anyone at any wedding I've attended and they'll tell you I know how to dance like someone who went to one ballroom dancing lesson, got kicked out (for totally uncool reasons) and is convinced he learned how to waltz properly despite his partners objections to their feet getting stepped on.

Other services include candid couple best wishes clips of all your intoxicated friends and successive uploading to YouTube/Vimeo/Videosharingsiteofyourchoice

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Guest — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:56:13 -0000

Backup Groomsman for hire. Well kept, plays nice with others.

Will never:
Give you up
Let you down
Run around and hurt you

Accepts payments only in vodka, craft beer, and bourbon. Wine/mead accepted with proof of purchase value.

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

andrew mcphee — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:40:14 -0000

short able to grow or shave off a beard on short notice muscluar can pull a heartwarming toast outta nowwhere without any prior knowledge of the couple. like's to party
will not hit on bridesmaids unless they come on to me first
can stay sober the entire night but would prefer not to

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Scott Kozicki — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:38:10 -0000

I think Josh has set the bar (pun intended) for all Backup Groomsmen. I throw my fake bow tie into the ring. Sign me up.

Re: Backup Groomsman - Apply as a Backup

Josh Bledsoe — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:29:48 -0000

I have ample experience as a groomsmen in all types of weddings (There is a surcharge for full Catholic weddings, although I will work for a discount if the reception has an open bar).

Things I will do:

Dance with the flower girl
Dance with the unfavorable bridesmaids
Give heart warming toasts
Get the father of the bride absolutely loaded

Things I will not do:

Appropriate nudity
Stay completely sober
Not hit on bridesmaids